Saying Goodbye

Today we said goodbye to two of our family members. Tahoe our wolf dog and Ellie the cat were both put to sleep due to old age and fragile, ailing bodies. Our family is heartbroken. Our childen were born after we got our animals so they do not have any memories of life without them. We will miss them but we are very grateful for the joy and the memories they have brought into our lives.

First Day of School

Ahhhh! The first day of school! I could feel the weight gently slipping from my shoulders and crashing into the asphalt as I dropped the kids off! It's such a gloriously beautiful day. I think Rachel really needs some time alone with her Daddy. We were outside working this morning after dropping Emma and Liam off at school and Rachel heard the school kids playing on the school field and started walking around saying, "Emma, Liam Hiding." She was sure her brother and sister were playing Hide N' Seek and was frustrated she couldn't find them. I think she misses them but is glad to have her daddy to herself, except when I feed Rebekah.

Emma started third grade and is going to the public school a stones throw from our house. Her teacher is a lady I worked with during my last year of teaching, so it is nice to have someone you know professionally teaching your children. When she left Challenger after first grade they were just starting multiplication and she is excited that she will be continuing with multiplication in the third grade. Fortunately, she has her mother's mathematical skills and not her fathers! She has a couple kids in her class from last year, but is excited for the opportunity to make new friends.

Liam is starting Kindergarten at a private school called Challenger. My brother Danny is glad, he says women take care of the house and kids (except his brother who has to break all of the traditional rules) so they only need a public education; however men who work should go to private school to get a decent education. I think he's joking, but its hard to tell sometimes (not to mention he's too afraid of Shelly to own up to this crazy theory).

In actuality, Shelly and I are trying to get our kids in private school through first grade to give them a solid foundation before we unleash them upon the Clark County School District. Liam insisted on picking flowers for his teacher before we left the house and was grinning from ear to ear when he presented them to her. He looks like a little gentleman in his uniform, such a handsome little boy.

I am really looking forward to having a little bit of time to get some projects done around the house that I have procrastinated because of our busy summer. With only two kids at home, although Rachel is the busiest of the bunch, I think I should be able to get a lot done; that is after I finish my 'Honey Do' list!

Tournament Results

Emma finished this weekend with her first Taekwondo tournament. I think it was more difficult on her parents than it was on her. On Saturday she did not place in musical weapons. We were very upset because of the effort she has put into practicing but tried hard to be positive and upbeat. We really tried to focus on letting Emma know what a great practice this would be for future tournaments and that she should have as much fun as possible! Sunday was her two minute continuous sparring match, in a bracket competition format. She refuses to wear chest protection because she says it slows her down. Emma did amazing! She placed third! The second girl she fought just ran away from her for two minutes. When Emma would catch her and go toe-to-toe the girl just kept backing up. I'll let her grandpa Metzguer explain how proud of her we are (and he was) in a note he sent to her this morning.

Dear Emma,

I was really impressed with several things about your tournament on Sunday. When you came out to start the other girl really jumped out quickly and started hitting you really hard and really fast. You stood your ground and did not retreat like a lot of young ladies might have. She was good, fast, and very aggressive. You ended up chasing her around the ring because you did not get afraid and you are a good fighter. You just kept coming. You made her retreat all around the ring. You hit her and kicked her many more times than she got to you at the end of the two minutes. That is why I thought you won. The thing I was most impressed with was your great courage. Even when you got the breath knocked out of you you kept coming. That is the sign of a real champion.

Then, you came back to the side after the fight and you were upset because you didn't win and because you got the breath knocked out of you. You even cried a little, but then you unexpectedly had to fight again. You were real brave, fought hard and won. you were already tired and upset but you got yourself together like a true champion and you WON. Way to go. You are and will always be my Champion.

I know that you will always be a person that gives your best and one who never gives up. That is the sign of not only a real Champion, but a really special person. I'll be there to cheer for you the next time too. In fact, I'll be cheering for you for the rest of your life.

Love,

Boppa

That sums up our weekend. We would like to thank all of the instructors from Team Martin Taekwondo who have worked with Emma and given her the courage and self discipline she needed to accomplish this. We are very proud of our little scrapper!

Emma's First Tournament

This weekend Emma has her first Taekwondo tournament. She is competing in two events: musical weapons and sparring. She has been working for several months, with the help of her instructor, to create a unique floor routine using two pink kamas, which are a hand scythe type of weapon. I was really excited to help her pick out her music for the routine and spent quite a bit of time going through my ipod selections and my cd’s. I was hoping for a sweet rock song with lots of pounding guitars, deep bass rifts, and rhythmic drums. I had settled on a couple of songs by Static-X and the Prodigy; I could picture her in my mind jumping through the air and slicing invisible foes to a really rockin’ soundtrack. Instead, she chose a Hannah Montana song (or is it Miley Cyrus, I always get those two confused!) called “Fly on the Wall”. She has worked really hard on her routine and I am extremely proud of her. Those who know Emma know that she doesn’t have a lot of control over her body and often walks into walls, trips over invisible objects, and falls off chairs for no reason. I am proud of the effort she has put into her Taekwondo forms and weapons training. She really enjoys it and when she is practicing, you can clearly see the joy on her face.

Her other event is sparring. I love watching Emma spar, although sometimes I don’t think she realizes that sparring is preparing her for actual fighting. She began sparring in January of this year and has really done very well…when she remembers to keep her hands up. Its always amazed me that Emma, being a very emotional girl, has not cried once during sparring, and we have seen lots of kids crying while sparring. The first time she sparred, she got kicked in the stomach and fell back several feet, exhaling loudly as the air was knocked out of her lungs. She jumped up and kept fighting without skipping a beat. Another time she was fighting a girl who punched her in the face. She came over to me showing me her mouthpiece and said, “There’s blood in my mouthpiece. That’s awesome!” Emma has only hurt another person once when she kicked a boy and made him cry. It really bothered Emma that she had hurt another person and she told the boy repeatedly that he had done a good job and was a good fighter. She didn’t use a lot of power after that for quite a while because I think she was afraid of hurting someone again. With all that said, I am really worried about her fighting in tournament because she will be fighting someone she doesn’t know, someone who doesn’t know her. I am worried because I feel like the students in her class back off a bit because she is such a sweet girl, or they know her limits and don’t push her hard enough. Her instructors are always telling me what a great fighter she is and how quick she is, but I am afraid she is going to go up against someone who is out for blood. I know it’s silly, I know how much she loves to spar, and I don’t want her to get hit so hard she is either embarrassed or chooses not to do Taekwondo anymore.

I love Emma. She is an amazing child with fantastic talents. She has kept straight A’s all year, she has chosen to be baptized in September (on the 4th), and she has excelled at Taekwondo and sparring. I want to see her happy just like I want to see all my children happy. I just hope I can survive this weekend because I’m a nervous wreck!

Single Parent

Single parents, I do not know how you do it; or did it!

After having Rebekah, Shelly told me she had an opportunity to attend some training at the Humana home office in Kentucky and participate in some conferences around the country. Having taken a couple of months off for maternity leave I told her she should "jump in feet first" and do as much as she can to enjoy her fairly new job. She took my words to heart and has hardly been home the last couple of months. Currently she is in Boston attending a conference, she will be home Sunday for a few hours before leaving again for San Diego.

Last month she was at a week long seminar in Kentucky when the kids all got the flu. I was holding newborn Rebekah in one arm standing over some towels so she could throw up on them and holding a crying Rachel in the other. Liam wanted to sleep in Emma's new bunk bed (top bunk of course) and ended up throwing all over her and her bed. He changed his clothes and went out to the living room to watch TV without waking me up, what a great guy, although Emma got sick from sleeping in his puke all night. It was a very draining week for me, and Shelly who was worried about us, jumped on a flight and came home early.

With all that said let me go back to my original statement, "Single parents I do not know how you do it!" I have a new respect for you all, especially my mom. She always said that there is a special place in heaven for the mothers of boys! Boy is she right. I don't know how she did it (and I only have 1 boy) all the while working and going to school to become a nurse. I cannot remember my mother getting angry at us, although she says whenever she tried to break up a fight or argument we would unite against her, so there was not a lot of discipline. She also still managed to take us to church every Sunday without killing us during services. The three of us turned out to be pretty great guys without a lot of animosity towards our parents for their parental mistakes.

When Shelly is home there is a little (very little) piece of the evening after she comes home where I can catch my breath and then the two of us take care of the family and house together. I am not the greatest homemaker, although I guess I do have that label, but I try and allow Shelly the time she needs after a hard days work to unwind without the children driving her crazy. With her gone and without that small amount of time to catch my breath and without her assistance in the evening, I find I get frustrated easy, the house doesn't get clean, I feel upset that I do not have any time for myself, and then I feel like a lousy parent. Being a school teacher and having parent-teacher conferences I have seen my share of bad parents. I've had strippers and prostitute parents, and been told I cannot send home troublemakers because they will be around violence and gang banger family members. I know I am not a bad parent, in fact I have been told many times how great I am with kids. I know my kids love me, but there is always the worry that will this split second decision be the one that haunts my kid forever.

Single parents: I respect you!

My wife: please don't ever leave me (at least for more than a week at a time)!

No White Guilt Here

So, recently a liberal family member tried to reeducate me through email in regards to the genesis of racism in our country. It was only a couple sentences but laughable, and I quickly deleted it to avoid familial confrontation and general frustration with an extremely confused portion of our county – the left. The damage was done and I have been rolling those confusing and angry sentences around in my head all day. I would like to set the record straight for all my friends and family: I have never killed an American Indian in my life! Believe it or not, I never have. In fact, when we built our house on land that we bought I didn’t even have to slaughter a single American Indian in order to begin construction! I have never called a black person a derogatory term in anger or frustration, although I have called lots of Mexicans bad names but I’m from San Diego so it’s OK. I have also never razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, so why is it that I am called a racist. Even with a black president I am called a racist for vehemently disagreeing with his policies, procedures, and just about everything he’s done to date. Napolitano and the Obama administration have already labeled me a “terrorist” because I am a right-wing extremist who believes we should close the borders and marriage is between a man and a woman, so I have nothing to lose. Why am I labeled a racist? The answer is simple: I am white. I was born white! Damn my parents for being white and mating together. I know I should feel some of that liberal white guilt, but I don’t. I am proud to be white. I am proud to be a born and bred native American. Liberals have grown so good at playing the race card to advance their own agendas, gain more power and use it as a shield to hide behind their own white guilt. The problem is that at one point in time it was a good tactic, no one wants to be a racist so they will capitulate to avoid embarrassment; nowadays if you play the card you just look stupid. Racism in America is practically dead. Travel oversees and see what true racism looks like. It will disgust you and make you realize how funny “racism” in America truly is. I befriended several Afrikaners when I was on my mission in Germany. These people were crammed into abandoned schools called ‘heims’ where they would pack 40-50 African men in one school room. These people had fled for their lives from their county and were LEGALLY in Germany. They were struggling to earn anything with the lowest jobs imaginable, even when the German people publicly put them down and treated them like inferior people, they would share their meals with us. The Germans would also have ‘Ausländer Raus!’ (foreigners out) days where they would protest foreigners (mainly Turks) in their country by closing their shops and putting AUSLANDER RAUS signs on their doors. Look at racism around the world and then applaud the progress that our own country has achieved in so little time. I could go on forever, but let me just end with this, because I disagree with you, because I am a white male, I am not a racist. I will not apologize to every American Indian I encounter because some of their ancestors might have been wronged by a white person, just like I would not expect an apology from the ancestors who made white slaves build the pyramids. To all 3 or 4 of my left leaning family members who might be going, “this guy is a jerk!” - I love you, you are dead wrong on your politics, but I still love you, just chill out on the race card, its time has passed.

GO GREEN -- MICHIGAN STATE SPARTANS BASKETBALL

Blessing Day

I figured it was about time for us to update our blog, it's been awhile! Our four beautiful children have taken up a lot of the time, but we've been having a blast. I am looking forward to going back to work tomorrow at the office, only part-time; then the following week, April 5th I go back full-time. Maternity leave has been great, but all-in-all, I'm ready to go back to work and get back into my routine. Getting back into my routine means beginning to get rid of this fat so that I can once again be in good health and feel good about myself. But enough about me...

On Sunday, Billy blessed Baby Rebekah. He did so well! For those of you that don't know, he's terrified to speak in public, even something as ceremonial and important as a baby blessing. It was very special, he blessed her to follow in the path of her Savior, to be a light that all could hearken to on this Earth and also to be strong-willed like her mom. We had all the grandparents there, my parents, Bob and Karen and Bill and Mary. Of course Uncle Dano was in the circle along with Bill and Bob and our old bishop, Ralph Thomas. Rebekah wore the blessing dress my good friend Angela made for Rachel, she looked beautiful.

This weekend, as I was reflecting on our calling as parents, I thought about how much our Heavenly Father must love us. I know how much I love my children and I know that because of this love I feel, I know my Father in heaven must love all of us so very deeply. I think we strive so hard to make our Earthly parents proud, and I think often times we don't think of our Heavenly Father. What about Him....and making him proud? I know that every blessing I have ever received has come from Him and his love for me. Almost every night I thank him for these blessings, but I just don't think there are enough words or expressions to demonstrate my gratitude. Often times we get caught up in the ways of the world, our silly earthly problems and don't take a good look at what we've got. I know that if blessings were monetary riches, I'd be the wealthiest woman in the world.

Both of my older children bore their testimonies today, how proud did that make me? Never in my 10 years as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints did I think I would have "one of those kids." You know what I mean, the ones that are up there every Fast and Testimony talking about how much they believe in the church and the scriptures. I am grateful For Liam and Emma and for the example that they will be to their two little sisters, Rachel and Rebekah.

I would challenge anyone reading this to take a good, hard look at their lives and in your next prayer, thank your Heavenly Father for all the amazing things you have and experience, I know I will!

Hooray! Rebekah's in the Clear!

In the earlier blog I indicated I would update everyone on Rebekah's bilirubin issues....well, I'm happy to report that despite two heels that look like pin cushions, she is done with phototherapy and on her way to being a normal newborn (although a little yellow). Finally, we got a bilirubin result today that demonstrates a reduction in her level without the use of phototherapy. She seems to be even nursing better today (although, that could simply be me having a better outlook on life).

I'll tell you what, these hormones are enough to make a husband run scared! Last night I started crying just because I was sure I was dehydrating my baby and making her jaundice worse. Billy just kind of looked at me like, "are you on drugs?" and put his arms around me and let me cry. I think I need a little more sleep. Being a nurse is NOT good when you have a newborn; especially when you're so militant about no bottles and only breastmilk.

I can say, however, that I'm mighty proud of myself. I made a pact this pregnancy that I wouldn't give up, that I needed to have one last breastfeeding experience with my last baby. Despite intensive care in the hospital (where they demand bottle feeding, unless you're a nurse who demands gavage feeding because you're a breastfeeding nazi), readmission into the hospital for severe jaundice and persistent high bilirubin levels, it looks like we've made it. Now, I have to begin the long stretch of commitment for 6 months of mostly breastmilk and very little formula.

This will be hard considering I go back to work at the end of March. I have rented a hospital grade pump so that I can make sure that my girl gets the best. It will be interesting to see if Rebekah ends up with chronic ear infections like Liam and Rachel who had little to no breastmilk. It will be my own personal study.

Anyway, enough about boobs and milk....

I found out today that one of my dearest friends is moving to Idaho. I am sad for me, but happy for her. She has been a rock for me in the church, my second visiting teaching partner and an extraordinary example in the gospel to me. Her daughter is best friends with Emma and her son is a good friend to Liam. Why is it that friends have to move away? It seems like in Las Vegas that all my friends move away....I guess that's because we live in Sin City and it's not exactly the best place if you're LDS with no family support.

By the way, as you can see, this blog is supposed to be Billy's blog, but I keep hijacking it....boy isn't that a shocker!

....And Again!

On Monday evening, Rebekah had to go back to the hospital because her jaundice got worse despite outpatient phototherapy. Although not something I can say I enjoyed, the hospital was great and they let me stay the entire night with Rebekah. As you can probably tell in my posts, I've been militant about breastfeeding since this is my last one. They let me nurse her all night and she still has not had a bottle. So in that department Shelly is happy : ) We got to come home Tuesday evening, let's hope no more trips to the hospital!

We were able to turn off the outpatient phototherapy yesterday and will hopefully find out this afternoon that we're done with those darn lights all together. If not, we continue to bake her with the tanning blanket to make her less yellow and more white.

Things seem to be beginning to fall back into place. I'm getting more than 2 hrs of sleep at night and the kids are getting back to their routine. I don't know how some people do it....4 kids is a lot and I know lots of people that have even more than that. I'm looking forward to the next 4 weeks to continue to NOT work and be with my family. Secretly, I must say, I love staying home, but I also miss my work. They have been so good to me and haven't bothered me once.....

We are looking forward to this weekend and being with the family. Finally, my incision doesn't hurt much and last night I actually slept in my bed. I can't tell you how perfect and comfortable that was. I think the last time I slept in my bed was almost two months ago. Towards the end of my pregnancy, laying down flat was not an option, so I slept in my reclining chair in my room. When we got home from the hospital, my incision was too sore and it was hard to pull myself up to a sitting position. All that's left now is a night sleeping on my belly....when that happens, I may not wake up when the baby cries, belly sleeping is my paradise!

Anyway, again, thanks to all who have had prayers and good wishes to us. I will post this afternoon so that everyone knows if we're done with the tanning bed or not.

One more thing, Papa Bob, we miss you too and can't wait to see you for the baby blessing. Looks like we're shooting for 03/29/09, that's Fast Sunday since the following Sunday is General Conference and then the following Sunday is Easter. Rebekah is looking forward to meeting her Papa (and all the rest of her family that might want to come) and getting lots of smooches. In regards to your eldest son, I'm not sure there was much damage to undo, he is the most amazing man on this planet and I thank my Heavenly Father every day for crossing my path with his. He is my soul mate and I can't imagine a day of my life without him. So thanks for "making" him and raising him because I'm quite certain my life would be entirely different and really miserable without him.

Posted by Shelly Martin

Home Again!

Yeah! Rebekah and I came home on Friday night. We weren't sure if they were going to let us both come home, just like Rachel, close to discharge Rebekah's bilirubin levels were high. Fortunately, the fact that I'm a nurse and my pediatrician's office is open on Satudays and Sundays, convinced the hospital neonatologist to let me manage the jaundice from home with Rebekah's pediatrican.

Friday night we overdid it, my eyes are usually bigger than my stomach and I think I'm invincible. 4 kids and a fresh c-section incision don't make for easy living! Regardless, we're doing well, short of sleep and still sore from surgery, we are on our road to recovery.

Rebekah has a bili-blanket at home to help chase the jaundice away. Her levels are coming down and I think we've turned the corner (very quickly compared to Rachel). My incision is feeling better and I don't think I've even had to take any pain medication today.

We're diligently working on breastfeeding, doing much better this pregnancy than Rachel as well. I'm looking forward however in a few months to getting a full nights sleep, I think last night I got 4 hours total (divided between midnight and 9 am) and the night before about the same. The things we do for our children.....

Anyway, despite all of that, we are grateful for a big family that loves each other, grateful that I have hours at night to give up to bond with my baby, a job that pays me for maternity leave and most of all, a husband who works very hard to make it all turn out!

Babies are a miracle and Rebekah, just like the previous 3 have strengthened my testimony. To know that Billy and I are loved enough to be entrusted with another sweet spirit is awesome.

We will take some pictures tonight and post them of the newest addition. Emma, Liam and Rachel are eager to get their hands on her. Liam and Rachel are both sick, so they haven't been able to spend much time with her. We'll post more pictures later with the kids when they're healthier and not risking making Rebekah sick.

Much love to all of you who sent good wishes and prayers our way....time to get back to the baby, it's feedin' time!

3 Days Left.....and Counting

Three days from this moment, I will no longer be pregnant and will have one more little girl to chase after (or should I say, Billy will have one more girl to chase after). Rebekah Ashton Martin will arrive on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 at approximately 8:00 am. Although looking back, it seems this pregnancy flew by, from day-to-day, it seemed like an eternity. For anyone reading this blog, it's really hard being old and pregnant! It's hard to believe that our family will be one larger in but a few days.

Friday was my last day at work and I can hardly believe that I won't be working for another 42 days.....I've never taken that much time off in my entire life.

To prepare for Rebekah's arrival, the whole family is nesting (because I'm making them). We are dusting, vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms and getting things ready so that I can bring our new arrival to a clean home! Billy asked me this morning if I had taken crystal meth, I guess the adrenaline is flowing and the energy is abundant, despite limited sleep. A clear sign that the pregnancy is coming to a close. Despite the energy and nesting instinct, I'm trying to take it easy today, my doctor is out of town on Saturday and I wouldn't be a happy girl if some stranger did my c-section.

It's a dreary, wet day in Las Vegas, I hope that it goes by quickly so that I am just one day closer. I am looking forward to bonding with my new little girl, having my body back and beginning the road to recovery from fat, pregnant girl to skinny woman. I have no excuses to stall this time since there will be no further pregnancies in our future (tubes are being tied!!!).

To anyone reading this, love and prayers are appreciated. We are hoping that there are no complications and that Baby Rebekah doesn't follow her older sister's example (Rachel) and end up in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for a short time while in the hospital.

Posted by Shelly

Kid's Taekwondo Testing

In January, Emma and Liam participated in testing for their next belts in Taekwondo. They were both successful in their testing and Liam received his yellow belt and Emma received her green belt. They train at Team Martin Taekowndo, a black belt academy that focuses on confidence, discipline, integrity and respect. They are family owned and operated and truly enjoy what they do (for more info see their website: http://www.tmt-lv.com/). Emma began the year in the black belt club and shocked us all with her aggressive and fearless attitude towards sparring. She regularly fights kids bigger than her and usually wins. Liam enjoys leading his class, but frequently gets frustrated because some of the girls in his class are higher ranked and therefore end up bowing the class in and out.

Emma will likely continue to progress at TMT, Liam on the other hand may be moving on to another sport as his concentration and dedication are not quite the level at the level of his big sister.

Grandma Ashton's Memorial Service

In the beginning of January we went to Northern Illinois and Southern Wisconsin to remember and celebrate the life of Helen Eleanor Ashton, Shelly’s grandma. We got to spend time with cousins. It was an Ashton reunion that included Uncle Jim, Aunt Peggy, Jenny, Jeff and Doug Ashton (Shelly’s relatives). We spent time with Audrey and Anna Gilmore, daughters of Beth and Doug Gilmore and saw Uncle Chris Metzguer, Aunt Heidi and Uncle Chris Turner. We stayed in Racine, WI and enjoyed (I’m being sarcastic) the snowy weather. We visited Zion, IL where Grandma and Grandpa Ashton met and spent the majority of their lives together.

We looked at pictures of Grandma and couldn’t believe the resemblance to Shelly. Grandma lived a long life, she died when she was in her early 90’s. She was born in the United States, but as German as they come. Her maiden name was Miller (changed from Mueller when her parents immigrated to the United States). She met my Grandfather in Zion, IL and they dated for over 10 years. When they finally tied the knot, it was in secret because of religious factions within Zion. They were married for over 60 years and only separated by death. Grandpa was a paper salesman and traveled often for his job. He worked until he was in his mid-seventies when they finally made him retire because he was practically blind.


Shelly’s Grandparents were the definition of Great Americans. They worked hard, honored their family and loved their country. They often went without so that when they left this life, their surviving family would have something to remember them by. Their dedication to each other and our country speaks volumes in a world today where many have lost these most treasured and important values.